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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?